


Kintsugi

by Angelscythe



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Glenn Fraldarius Lives, M/M, Self-Acceptance, gold - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25193518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelscythe/pseuds/Angelscythe
Summary: Years of madness had changed Dimitri into a monster, a Beast to the point he can't see himself in a glass. Even years after having changed. He doesn't love himself and doesn't think anyone can loves himself. He is broken. And yet, Glenn has the intend to repair him with care and gold.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Glenn Fraldarius
Kudos: 4





	Kintsugi

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody!!!!  
> Thank you for passing by!!!  
> I needed more Dimiglenn in my life and just took out this old idea. I really wanted to work on self-love/self-acceptance and I hope it works?  
> I wish you can love yourself too if you don't because you are awesome!! You are achieving so much!!! Just take care of yourself, stay hydrated, wash your hands and stay inside if you can !!!
> 
> (Also sorry, i was so excited to post it, the fic might have some mistakes still. English isn't my first language and I've dislexia...)
> 
> Have a nice day!!!!

It had been three years since Edelgard wasn’t ruling the Empire anymore. While Dimitri was glad the situation in Fódlan had calmed down, he was also devastated by the death of the girl he had considered as his sister for so long… He knew the rage had covered him and he knew Felix wasn’t that wrong when he called him ‘Boar’. He had been a Monster for so long and he kept seeing this when people watched at him.

He was walking in the streets, Dedue by his side because he was so anxious about what could happen to him, and people were glancing at him. When he was younger, he remembered that his father, and Rodrigue a bit after, made sure no one would disturb him too much… He remembered as well their look. They were surprised but also in adoration and now… now the adoration had let the place to the horror and the surprise… He knew why… Not a lot of them had known about his madness rampage and after the War, his friends had done the best to hide it but some knew. And especially… he knew how he looked, with the scars on his body, with that eyepatch hiding the horror of his eye.

He said nothing. He didn’t want to annoy Dedue with his concerns but… but he truly wanted to go back to the Castle, not have to stay there any long time.

At the start of his reign, he was quite happy to come in the town, talk with the people and know what he could do to be a better King, to be like his father… But it was at the start of the reign. Now, he was always doing his best to avoid this. And today… today, he was just so tired. He didn’t want to come outside, he didn’t want to have to face their looks, their interrogations in their eyes, their disdain, disgust, doubts… He didn’t want to face his past…

He hated his past.

He hated to have lost so many people he used to love so much. See some of them step away from him. Damn… he thought Felix would run away from him and, to this day, he still was a friend really dear to his heart even if they barely saw each other.

Dimitri hated what he became when his madness and rage took him over. He hated what it does to his body because he didn’t care back then. Because he was fine if he could see those ghosts for real. He needed more than them haunting him. He needed to touch them…

But in the end, he was still walking on this earth, away from most of the people he loved and his body deeply wounded by years, by himself, by others…

Dimitri just wanted to go back to home, stop having those eyes lying on him…

He needed rest…

He needed this to be over.

Over?

Did he really believe it could be over?

He wasn’t outside anymore, the commoners couldn’t look at him but there was one eye, blue like sky, blue like the Ocean, that was watching himself. And that eye, that eye could see way more than what they were able to see… He was still wearing layers and layers of clothes and yet, he knew where the scars were spreading. Where his mistakes were shining through his flesh…

Dimitri stared at the mirror, unable to look away. Unable to see something other than his wounded eye, the disgusting scars all around… Why was he wearing an eyepatch? Not to protect others from the bleached-like skin, or the redder area, not to protect _them_ from the grainy aspect of his almost white eye. No… he was protecting _himself_. When he was just a Beast, just a Boar, he was already disgusted by this… Because this eye that lost its color, it was, to his opinion, losing his father, failing…

_Knock knock knock._

“Your Majesty?” a warm voice asked.

Dimitri couldn’t stop staring at his own reflection. But he could also see the one who knocked at his door in the mirror and he felt… ashamed? Disgusting…

“Your Majesty… Are you alright?”

Dimitri stared. Sometimes, he was still doubting that his vision wasn’t something coming back from his sweetest dreams, from his mad mind… How could it be different? To this day, he had still nightmares of seeing him _die_ in front of him, because of him. And yet… yet, he was there… He hadn’t changed much. His hair was way longer, yes, almost brushing his behind, but it was still that way to shave a part of it and to braid the other part in so many different little braids. And yet he was beautiful. Him, his piercings shining in the light…

“Your Majesty?”

“I heard you, Glenn…”

“I was starting to doubt,” he smirked.

How could he be alive? How could he have survived… Dimitri would never understand…

But since Glenn was there, taking over the Dukedom of Fraldarius and letting Felix set his life with Sylvain, everything seemed to be better for everybody. Obviously, he helped Ingrid and while they never talked about wedding, Dimitri could sense it was something to come soon enough.

And for the very first time in his life, he hated Ingrid.

She had been so happy to see him come back. He should be happy for her. She had been distraught by his loss but…

He had been distraught too.

Now, they expected Glenn to be his Shield, his right-arm and he saw him so often. _So often_ he wondered if he wasn’t just hoping he was there. If the others weren’t talking about him, if he wasn’t so much out of his reach, he would believe he was just lost in his maze of madness, honestly.

But he knew he was real. Because, if he was just created by his sick mind… it would be as soft, precious and frenzied than his wildest dreams.

Glenn approached him and, for a moment, he was hidden by Dimitri’s body who struggled not to turn toward him.

“Where do I look?” Glenn asked, placing in front of his King.

He showed the mirror and then the big blond.

“Where you prefer,” Dimitri replied. “What gives me the pleasure?”

“Affairs,” Glenn said, looking at Dimitri’s reflection. “First time I’m not almost breaking my neck looking at you, interesting…”

“I should kneel in front of you to talk to you,” Dimitri smiled.

“You should! I would like that!” Glenn deeply smiled back.

“Remind it to me next time.”

“I hope it will happen in a reunion, I will feel so powerful.”

Dimitri let out a little laugh but jolted when he felt Glenn’s hand on his.

“Sorry,” the Duke said. “Sorry… I wanted to ask you what was wrong? You look distant?”

“It’s nothing…”

“Come on, I know you’re my King but you’re still my little Prince,” he said, turning toward him. “I don’t want to see my little Dimitri that sad if I can do something. You know I’m here if you have any worries…”

“Thank you, Glenn. I can’t believe you still call me ‘little Dimitri’ I started to be taller than you years ago.”

“Eh, for the most part, you were tinnier!”

“But I was taller as soon as I reached eleven years old.”

“We have seen each other for two years after that and only four from now so do your math, I win, you’re my little Dimitri.”

“So you will have to stick with me for longer so you can be my little Glenn…” Dimitri whispered.

Glenn stared at him and the King didn’t know if he had heard those words or not. He was thinking them very hard but he was so afraid to make him run away instead of staying with him.

“So what is it?” Glenn asked, tilting a little his head.

Dimitri looked at their hands still touching.

He didn’t want to disturb Dedue and Dedue would never dare disturb him so he would never break the rules of courtesy to know what it was. Ingrid wasn’t there enough and even though he loved Felix and Sylvain, they wouldn’t ask. Respecting his privacy probably. Annette risked not seeing it, and Ashe… he never saw him to be honest. But Mercedes would probably be like Glenn.

He knew, if he really refused to tell him what was in his mind, Glenn wouldn’t insist but he also had always been very open about feelings. Always serious and rude with strangers, he had a golden heart and he would never dismiss your feelings, whatever it was. Perhaps it was because he almost raised his crybaby little brother? But it was one of the favorite things about Glenn for Dimitri. Perhaps… Perhaps because Glenn was like a Pearl oyster? The exterior was so hard, harsh and closed, but inside… he was a real pearl.

“Why aren’t you disgusted to look at me?” Dimitri whispered.

“What do you mean?” Glenn frowned.

“Look at me…”

“I’m looking at you,” Glenn replied.

“And nothing disturb you?”

The Duke shook his head. Dimitri pulled backward and removed the huge cape, throwing it on the bedframe. He opened his shirt and Glenn’s eyes widened in surprise. He looked away, not that he wasn’t used to see men half-naked or more but…

“What the hell are you doing?!” he asked.

“You’re sure, you’re not disgusted?”

Glenn’s eyes came back to him, brushing his chest, seeing the big cross across the right pectoral but also tinier scars. So many scars.

“Dimitri…”

Glenn walked toward him and his hand caressed his cheek, pushing away some blond strands.

“Look at my arms,” he whispered.

Dimitri looked down at them. They were covered with long mittens, the part of the hands looking more like a glove but all the remaining was a fishnet looking almost like metal. He always wondered if it was an efficient protection or not. But those arms were also covered with scars… So many scars.

Dimitri brushed one of them.

“Are you disgusted?” Glenn asked.

“No.”

“Why would I be disgusted by yours…?”

“It’s not… It’s not the same, Glenn.”

“I see…” he replied, caressing his cheek.

He stepped away. Dimitri would have the courage to grab him by the waist and keep him against him but he couldn’t. He couldn’t take the risk to hurt him. He wouldn’t force Glenn to do anything. Instead, he grabbed the buttons of his shirt to close it, save Glenn’s eyes, any eyes, of this disgusting vision.

He couldn’t help glancing at Glenn that was ruffling in the bag tied at his belt. Glancing at the back uncovered thanks to a wide window. He knew Glenn would always wear an armor when he was on the battlefield but he was at home, he allowed the eyes to caress his spine, to see the scapula, discovers some mole here and there. Like the one just above his lips he dreamed of kissing…

He could see a scar on his back.

But it was perfect.

With him, it was perfect…

Every scar was bearing the beauty of his devotion.

“Do you trust me?”

Dimitri’s eye came back to Glenn’s face.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you trust me?” Glenn asked, approaching him.

“Yes? More than anything.”

“Can you remove your clothes? As many as you want. And then go lie on your bed.”

“W… what are you?”

“Do you trust me?” Glenn smiled. “Don’t worry if I make you uncomfortable at any moment, it would stop,” he swore. “I want to help you, not to hurt you…”

“I doubt you can hurt me.”

“It can go so fast. I would hate hurting you. So don’t hesitate…”

Glenn’s fingers caressed his cheek then he pulled backward and went to the nightstand, placing something on it. He used one of his braids to hold his mane in a bun. Dimitri opened his mouth to tell him that he loved very much when his hair was untied but when he saw a part of it fall along his back anyway, he could only smile. He removed his shirt and then moved down his hands.

“You… You are sure you’re not disgusted?” Dimitri asked.

“I’m not. Be comfortable, that’s what matter.”

Dimitri removed his boots, his trousers… A part of his brain wanted to remove everything but he also knew he was in the reality. Not in a dream…

He was already lost.

Why would he want him more or less naked?

Only wearing his underwear, Dimitri approached the bed and sat on it. Glenn turned toward him at this moment and he smiled a little. He approached him, sitting next to him.

“So, tell me… what was your very first scar?”

Dimitri showed the cross on his chest.

“It was my very first bloodlust… I made it appear in my armor,” he whispered. “Turned it into my weakest point because it was turned me into… a Boar.”

“Felix told me about it,” Glenn whispered. “It was the rebellion, when you were fifteen, wasn’t it?”

“Yes…”

Glenn slid his fingers in a medium jar. When he pulled them away, his skin was covered with gold.

“This is paint made with gold,” he explained. “I bought it for a servant but this would be more useful for you. Look…”

He approached Dimitri’s chest with his fingers and caressed the scar, creating the cross but instead of the pale form, it was now shining with gold.

Dimitri shivered when he felt the fingers along his skin.

“Felix told you…” Dimitri whispered. “The first time I killed, feral… I took pleasure of it and I hated it. I hated doing it and I love it at once… I was moved with that desire of killing. Killing even more… and the more I did, the more I hated myself.”

“I understand,” Glenn said, caressing the scars. “Killing someone because you have to do it is horrible… And everybody has to find a way to deal with that. I don’t think your bloodlust came from a real desire of killing…”

Dimitri shook his head.

“I wanted to avenge you.”

“But you don’t have to do it anymore,” he gently smiled at him. Then he moved his fingers toward the chest. “See…”

The King looked down, watching the thick gold liquid on his chest.

“It looks pretty,” he recognized.

“It is pretty. Do you remember what your second scar was?” Glenn asked.

“Not really…” Dimitri said.

“Then, I will just do my best. Can you lay on the mattress?”

Dimitri nodded and complied. Glenn moved his fingers on his thighs, brushing the scars and adorning them with gold.

The King watched at him, looking the hair moving with his soft gestures.

“If I disturb you…”

“No,” Dimitri cut short.

Perhaps too fast.

He wanted to look away but he couldn’t stop watching at him, his brown eyes with blue rays following every scar he was patiently covering with the thick paint.

“Tell me more… How have you got those scars, what have you thought?”

“I can’t remember from where they come. I was just a Monster. I wanted to kill, I wanted to make disappear those between me and my goal. I wanted to make disappear every of them who had killed those I loved.”

“Why do you think you were a monster?”

“That blood on my hands… I killed brothers, fathers, sons, husbands…I never thought about other options. Glenn… you died… I thought you died for me. It was horrible. And I did that to so many people. Glenn… your father died for me. Because I was a Monster who only sought to avenge, blood…”

Glenn moved his fingers on the legs of his King.

“Is that everything you see?” he whispered.

“What should I see?”

“Give me your hand,” Glenn asked.

Dimitri complied without a word. Glenn intertwined their fingers, caressing them, spreading the gold on it.

“Now… choose any of my scars and do the same thing.”

“Any of it?” Dimitri asked.

Glenn nodded.

The King sat in the bed and moved toward him.

“Can I see your back?”

Without a second of hesitation or protestation, the Knight complied. Dimitri moved forward and with his clean hand, he gently pushed his hair from his back, caressing a strand. He gently tugged on the lace on the lower part of the outfit, uncovering his back.

“Is it fine?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes.”

Glenn couldn’t help letting a soft sigh come out of his lips when he felt the fingers slide along his scar, covering it.

“How have you received this scar? I love it very much…”

“Got it when protecting Felix two years ago.”

Dimitri didn’t reply anything but this wasn’t surprising at all from him… He had a light smile on his lips, moving away his fingers.

“I have another one on the thigh. Made it at Duscur, protecting you.”

“Can… Can I?” Dimitri asked.

Glenn nodded. He moved on his knees so he could open his pants, lower it and, in the end, he just threw it away.

Dimitri moved his hand to catch Glenn’s strand and prevent them from falling on the gold. The Duke smiled at him, making fall the boots on the floor and he moved his hand to untie the lace of the upper part of his top, making it slide on the mattress.

The King approached him and slid his hand on the wide and long irregular scar on his thigh.

There was no sound, just their breath…

And while Dimitri caressed his scar, Glenn moved his finger, dipping them in the paint to brush his little Prince’s throat where there was a thin scar. He moved down his hand on the shoulder where a spear marked him to live.

“Your scar is so big… I don’t have enough paint.”

“I have some,” Glenn said, moving his fingers.

He smiled when their fingers caressed, intertwined, discovered each other. He watched as Dimitri moved his hand to come on his thigh again and he dipped his fingers again.

“Can you see, Dimitri?” he whispered, approaching his face from his.

“How beautiful it makes you?”

Glenn moved, straddling him.

“How beautiful it makes _you_ ,” he protested leaned on him so he could see and brush some scar in his back. “Every of your scar are beautiful.”

“They look beautiful now… but when the gold will disappear…”

Glenn pressed their forehead together, his finger coming on his side to follow a too long scar.

“They will remain beautiful.”

“Your scars… have been made out of love. They don’t need gold to be beautiful… But mine… Mine need it.”

“Then, I’ll cover your scars with gold every day. Until you’d be able to see how beautiful they are. How beautiful _you_ are. Every scar of yours is a part of your past, of the fantastic person you are.”

“I was mad…”

Glenn moved his fingers to the eye.

“I’d be very gentle,” he whispered.

“I don’t doubt it.”

Dimitri closed his eyes, letting him do.

“Tell me…”

“I don’t know… I was mad. So mad… How can I believe those words? How can I see the gold when you’re not here?”

“I told it to you… I would paint you in gold if you need it. I will help you to see how beautiful you are. How beautiful I see you… You believe you were just a mad monster but you protected our country, you protected my brother… and my father would not have died for a monster… He protected you, protected the beautiful future you created.”

Glenn caressed the scar around his eye, pressing their forehead together.

“You said you are just a monster but can you see what you did? Please… look at me.”

Dimitri opened his eyes and, for a second, he swore that a veil of gold had covered his view. A veil of gold was making him see Glenn so beautiful, so surreal… But he knew it wasn’t possible. The eye that received a bit of gold was barely able to see, just a few dots, blurs…

“What I see is a Great King to become. You are beautiful, you reign beautifully and people love you… So much. You are lovable. I…” Glenn closed his eyes. He let pass two seconds and opened his eyelids again. “… love you.”

“Do… Do you really?”

“Yes. I love you, Dimitri. I always see you as if you were bathed with gold. Your scars aren’t disgusting. They made you beautiful. Like that gold. They’re your history, they’re you and you… you’re just perfect to me.”

Dimitri looked at him, right in the eyes… As much as he could with his blind eye.

“Can I kiss you?” Dimitri asked.

Glenn nodded quickly, still looking at him in the eyes. Dimitri passed his arms around his waist, gently tugging him against his chest and he kissed him. Slowly, with all the tenderness he could have. Glenn was so tiny, so thin, so fragile in his arms but, despite being very bad with every work asking him to be careful, Dimitri handled him with care, caution… He didn’t want to hurt him.

And Glenn… Glenn moved on his lap, passing his arms around his shoulders and kissed him back.

Dimitri really wanted to see himself as Glenn was seeing himself. He wanted to see gold even when he wasn’t painted with it. But he couldn’t…

However… if he could hold Glenn in his arms, if he could have him by his side, he knew, one day, he would feel like he was painted with gold. If someone could erase his past, help him to make fall the Boar’s clothes to be a Human of golden sparkle, it could only be Glenn…


End file.
